I have to admit that over these past few weeks I have had this strange phenomenon of not being motivated. I don’t want to run, I don’t want to work, cook, or even get out of bed. So not me! And no, it’s not that I’m unhappy or depressed. I have so much to be grateful for and I have so much that makes life worth living. I’m just honestly at a point where it feels as though I am in limbo, waiting for that next level of engagement so to speak.

I guess we have all heard about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The need to sustain our bodies in every way; the need to feel safe and protected; the need to truly belong to family and friends; the need to feel respected and hold a level of recognition across all groups; and finally the need to be who we were made to be, the epitomy of peak spiritual experiences.

Simply put, the hierarchy is as follows:

And maybe the answer is right in front of me. What I do know is that I am most likely in limbo between Esteem and Self-Actualization. But how does one move into and remain in this realm? How does one tap into that deep innermost potential? How does one simply become?

I often imagine myself going to a Buddhist retreat in Tibet and working progressively through a meditation programme until it has been mastered. And once attained, the Bhuddist monk will declare: ‘You have arrived, you have become!’

Somehow, I don’t think it is that easy!

For some time now, I’ve been setting goals, achieving some and coming short in others. The ones I have achieved, those experiences are short-lived, despite learning so much about myself. So of course I decided to consult one of the most popular resources known as the Oracle (The Wisdom of the Oracle).

Before I go any further, I just want to point this out: You know that feeling when someone dangles a really juicy metaphorical carrot in front of you and it gets closer and closer the harder and harder you work at it? And just when its almost in your grasp, you reach out to take hold of it and just as you do so, the puppet master (AKA life) pulls the strings and instantly moves it away. The carrot is replaced by a different carrot, further away, maybe much smaller and less appealing. And all you can think about is that you’ve expended so much energy and time and effort on the first carrot that when the goal post changed, you’re left feeling exhausted, confused and frustrated.

So this is pretty much how I felt after consulting the Oracle. I found this additional motivation theory model:

It doesn’t end at Self-Actualization! So now we enter a realm that is no longer driven by need deficiencies but driven by the need for self-growth. The need to be the best that one can be. Here we need to identify what will lead us to the ultimate self-fulfillment.

What is that? What form will it take? Will I have enough curiosity to explore? Will I be able to generate as many peak experiences of growth that will bring self-fulfillment?

In all honesty, I cannot answer these questions. So now what? How does one transition forward without the reverse happening? How does one look towards and embrace Self-Actualization when one’s country is falling apart and again brings us full circle back into questioning our basic needs, needs where one really shouldn’t have to worry anymore. Progression should not result in regression. The goal posts are not consistent.

I have to admit I have yet to find the answer here and I’m guessing this may just be a long journey. I’m also pretty sure that I’m not alone in this so any words of wisdom would be happily invited.

The space in my head

How does one maintain a good frame of mind, all the time, under immense pressure or during times of stress (which for most of us is a daily occurence)? When you find yourself in not such a great place how do you move into a better space?

I’ve wracked my brain and tried to explore the philosophical aspects, sadly with no easy answer. What I have observed and heard is that some people write, some exercise, others sleep or immerse themselves in a movie or book that takes over any thought process. Some are more out there doing the hard stuff like drugs and alcohol. And that’s simply it. Overwhelming oneself with distraction that fulfills no other purpose other than to pull the mind into a different sphere, into a paralytic state, where no emotion or response is required!

It seems kind of pointless but could it be that distractions may be the answer?

I’m not convinced. In the long run, distractions don’t resolve the issue. They allow for brief moments or hours of relief. They work temporarily and are mostly shortlived. A mere blink compared to eternity.

And then what happens when that distraction comes to an end? You return to that same space, maybe not so bad as prior to the distraction, but the chaos still reigns. And then our normal reaction is to try calm the chaos, drown the emotions, soothe the pain and release the anger. Whatever it may be, the vicious cycle continues again, often leaving one in the classical grips of depression.

It’s so easy to fall into. Especially when you cannot recognize the cycle. A cycle is continuous. It does not end unless we change its course, its path. And what I’ve learnt is any cycle in life that does not lead to good consequences must be broken and the first step is simply identifying that there is indeed a problem.

Acknowledgement. Probably one of the hardest acts to man up to. But from there, I believe if you really want to see this through you will source the necessary tools and help. You will make a plan to break the cycle.

Trust me, I suffered from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) for 3 years of my life. Medicated. Withdrawn. Depressed. Desperate. Stuck in a cycle of what I could only identify as my hell. Until one day I saw it. Something out there. A feeling and understanding of something so much more. I could not explain it but I simply decided my hell had to stop. There must be an end.

My first action point was to stop all my medication. Done. Instantly. It took 3 days for me to actually start feeling the effects of my decision physically. The sky was indeed more blue. The sunrise more beautiful. The air more clear and breathable. I could hear my heart again, that deep inner voice and I knew my path had suddenly changed. My bad cycle was breaking. And slowly, step by step, each strand of those cycles were broken.

I can confidently say that there is so much more you were born to experience. Don’t think it’s not possible. Whatever it takes, just break the cycle. Stick to it and don’t look back. Try not settle for the distractions unless the distraction actually moves you forward in a healthy positive way.

King Versus Hero

My husband and I decided to go watch a movie. You know, be spontaneous, get out and do some of the things we don’t get to do very often. Not having many options to choose from, we selected Aquaman.

I must admit, these Marvel movies are starting to grow on me and this one in particularly was rather entertaining. A PG 13 rating, far too violent for children, and a few scary sci-fi type scenes that even I, a fully grown adult (I think), struggled with!

Needless to say, I always try to learn something or at least find some new meaning and motivation for life when I watch a movie. And for this specific one, it was simply a quote that went like this:

A king fights for his nation. A hero fights for everyone.

A king fights for that which is his own. A hero fights for something much bigger than his or her own world. A hero gives his or her life to something much bigger than oneself. It really is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly and is certainly not for everyone. Being a hero comes at a high cost!

I suppose we could liken this concept to how our world works. Each and every race for itself. Every business for itself. Every politcal party for itself. Every country for itself. Even right down to every man for himself! Much like kings – limited to his own nation, power and wealth.

It’s quite sad actually. Imagine what the potential could be, if we could all adopt a hero mentality allowing collaboration between races, businesses, politicians and countries, unlimited, unshaped and open to possibilities.

Maybe this is a lesson to us all?

Maybe presidents should set aside some time to watch this movie and apply it’s fundamental learnings?

Maybe we all need to just take a moment to think about how greatness begins?

#Food for thought

Dress for success?!

Monday morning. The cupboard is wide open. What to wear? I dont spend much time deciding, I simply reach in to find something smart, comfortable and me!

I am amazed at just how many stories, psychological theories, opinions and speculation there is out there on this subject. Google brings up right and wrong ways to dress, news, videos and even maps that open up your nearest clothing stores. One has to wonder! Does dress really lead to success?

It seems that our visual perception according to certain standards is what the world wants and it appears that if you don’t abide by these so-called standards you get looked over. The result – failure and not success.

That may be true to some extent, but for me, there is something a bit more deeper and authentic in the why I dress up.

When I get dressed in the morning, my number one goal is to feel good within myself, followed by comfort, an absolute must. It expresses my own self-confidence and belief in myself that I can take on the day with enthusiasm and hope, with very little intention to outwardly impress. It’s about feeling confident enough to make a difference even in an ordinary day where the extraordinary is rare.

Whatever I choose to wear is enough for me. It simply means exuding that which I believe is true about myself in my inner most being. And even if I dont dress up as per set expectations, or I get looked over because of this, it doesnt worry me. Because at the end of the day I have to be true to myself and that speaks to my honest authentic view. That’s what it needs to be about, with no judgement. I choose to simply be extraordinary. And that’s my success!

Dont get caught up in the hype and egotistical mannerisms, worried about what others will think about you. It’s a silent killer that demeans who you really are.

It doesn’t mean because one is a manager or an executive that you have to wear heels or a suit and tie, compared to your general layman, sitting behind screens punching numbers all day. Anyone can wear a suit or a dress or heels. All I’m saying is let it be authentically you.

If it makes you feel good to wear heels and a pencil skirt and you are comfortable, then do so because it’s you. If smart pants and a pair of short block heel boots make you feel gorgeous, then that’s your thing. If you have to beef up your game a bit, for you and not for anyone else or your perceived image of your role, just do it. Trust me, it does something amazing to your confidence and the way you manage life.

The challenge here is to feel like you can take on the world – anyone, anywhere, without any pretences, as you!

In essence all I am saying is stand out in your own way and not as the world dictates or tries to define you. Get noticed by you! And if your spouse or partner notices and makes a comment, take it, absorb it and listen to their honesty. Just wear something that makes you feel extraordinary, with no judgement.

#Proud to be me!

Here’s to 2019

You’re always one decision away from a totally different life!

Author unknown

Imagine every time you read a book the story changed?! At the end of each chapter, the story allowed the reader to select which path or outcome they wished at that point in the story and then would direct the reader to the next chapter in line with that choice.

Same with a movie. Imagine every time you watched that same movie, the main character would take a different decision at various points in the story. The finale would be totally different all the time, leaving you on the edge of your seat unable to predict what’s next.

TV Soaps, TV Series, even dreams could all be subjected to the power of decision-making and returning different journeys and endings.

And that’s how I see 2019. Every decision we make will lead us down a very specific path. Yes, things hardly ever go as planned but when you allow your heart to lead your choices and decisions, and not rely on your head where chaos mostly reigns, you will find yourself on a highway of rich life and peace. The logical and irrational thinking definitely has it’s place and should not be ignored, but before making a decision the message is to simply pause. Then listen.

Just as our physical heart is the very core of our entire human body, autonomously beating to keep each and every cell in the body alive, so it is the very core of our essence. Trust it! Meditate. Pray. Take a drive or a walk. Whatever works for you. But just take pause and listen to your heart.

So here’s to 2019…

#One day you will

Take a moment

This has been a super busy week. Christmas, travelling, family, friends, game drives, drones and of course lots of food! But, if I had to select just one thing that really touched my heart over this past week it would have to be the performance by the kids from LIV village in Pretoria.


LIV village was founded and built on a vision by a man named Tich Smith, a previous Natal rugby player and South African cricketer, lost to alcoholism at one point in his life. His vision was to build an orphanage village for children and to provide jobs for local and rural families. All with the hope and faith that when the government sees that this kind of set-up works, they will then point to the cross of Jesus, because this vision was and is from God.

#Read more about Tich Smith:

The main feature was indeed The Lord’s Prayer, in Swahili. So take a moment to just enjoy:

Some real talent coming through. I have to admit though, the video did not do justice to the live experience. Goose bumps. That feel good feeling. It really does make you take a moment to simply reflect.

As we head into the new year of 2019, let’s remember to stop and take in the moment. After all, a moment is all we are given!

Author unknown.