Tales of a Paramedic

READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL. DO NOT HARBOR OFFENSE.

I have said before that laughter is one of the most natural, cost effective medicines that can cure what doctors can’t, so give this one a chance.

Not so long ago, my husband started rambling in the car around what he thought paramedics said, when treating patients. Of course, being a qualified paramedic myself, I had a good giggle deep down inside because mostly what he said was true (keeping in mind we did not know each other during those years of my life). In reality, some paramedics do say things without realizing what they’ve said. I guess it is a much needed coping mechanism so to say, when dealing with those difficult scenes and patients.

It goes something like this…

Paramedic: This guys a goner.

Patient: What?

Paramedic: Oh crap? You alive!

End.

Paramedic: Damn, you’re not looking so good!

Patient: I dont feel so good!

Heart monitor: Long beep

End.

Paramedic: Holy comoly! That’s the longest intestine I’ve ever seen!

Friends standing around the braai: Dit is net boerewors ou vriend!

End.

Paramedic: I’m so tired of these guys dying on me. It’s my fifth one today.

Patient: (Eyes wide open)

End.

Paramedic: That cheese burger and chips is calling me! Does this look like your arm, it certainly has your colour?

Patient: (Passes out)

End.

Talking about arms, one of my favourite stories has to be my brother-in-law. A devout fireman in his day. Serving his country. Wholeheartedly and full of mischief.

Paramedic: Stop that traffic! I got a man down here.

Fireman: (Grabs the decapitated arm lying a few meters from the vehicle)

Slow down please.

(Waves the arm up and down)

End.

And one of my all time favourite stickers I wanted to design for an ambulance was a sticker that said:

One day when I grow up I want to be a hearse!

Ok that was a bit morbid! But funny nonetheless. Come on admit it, you did have a bit of a laugh?!

In pursuit of happiness

We are pursuing happiness the wrong way. We are going down pathways that are causing significant damage. Damage so silent, it kills.

This was what a doctor stood up and said at a Diabetes meeting this week. Bam. Just like that! The truth of this debilitating disease when not looked after or treated correctly. The silent killer.

Medicine has made remarkable milestones and achievements and technology is on a cusp of data driven innovation and remedies that can be used to make better choices based on algorithms. The treatments are becoming more and more readily available, yes sometimes at a cost. But the point is that the one thing we have control over is the one thing we choose to throw away without giving any serious thought to.

Our ability to make good and healthy choices!

I’m not only referring to what we eat here. We put a lot of things into our bodies – spirit, mind and body – such as time, people, images, knowledge, music, medications, etc. Remember, every action results in a consequence and where this action is not good or healthy, we silently become diseased and unconsciously become a dead man walking.

On my way home later that same day, I managed to get some shopping done. I walked past a lady, clearly obese, loading her trolley in the supermarket with slabs of chocolate. I’m not kidding. There was not one healthy product in her trolley. While I was standing behind her, I counted fourty slabs alone. Fourty! Even while I was counting the slabs as inconspicuously as I could, she was still grabbing another stack of ten or so. I couldn’t stand to watch anymore and walked away.

Ok, maybe she packs them away or gives them to children or makes genuine chocolate brownies. Whichever way, the pathway she chose was not good, not for anyone. And trust me there was no sale price on those slabs of chocolate!

I have to ask: Why would we not want to put in the absolute best, simply to get the absolute best out? Why do we sabotage our own existence? Why do we watch rubbish that fills our minds with filthy language and images no one should ever have to see? Are we so burdened by a world that is simply full of greed and wants, that no one can see what damage is being done?

I mean just look at how much plastic is on the shelves in a supermarket. All of it eventually discarded as waste or lands up in our seas without us even thinking twice about it. Look at how children are being exposed to social media and technology, forever on their devices, unable to hold a decent conversation or think on their own. Suicides have increased, discipline is no longer allowed, and drugs and sex become the in thing! In the corporate world, position and status are fought for even to the detriment of one’s colleagues. I have to wonder just how much longer this world will be able to sustain itself the way we are headed.

But I guess its validated though because we are happy right?

No! This is not true happiness.

Happiness comes from a deep calm within. It’s kind of like that surreal feeling, like a dream that we could only hope would come true. It’s the result of all good things within oneself coming together. It just fits. It’s beautiful. It’s amazing. It’s the perfect intersection where our spirit, mind and body all cohesively meet in all its euphoric wonder. Totally spiritual. And just imagine what happens when two or more intersections like this collide, there is an exponential overflow of true happiness!

Maybe let’s try resist looking in the wrong places to fill that deep longing for true happiness. Choose wise paths. Choose good paths. Maybe don’t follow the crowd if it is going to cause any conflict to your spirit, mind or body. Be kind to yourself, fill yourself with good and healthy things as much as you can. And stay away from those Aura Vampires.

In no way am I saying I have this right. I enjoy chocolate, pizza and even a good thriller too. But the point here is to acknowledge that these things do not bring true happiness. Happiness comes from good, healthy and wise choices in every aspect of our lives!