When my husband and I were dating, I would often ask what his future looked like. You know, with me in it. Long term. Forever.
He would respond by carefully selecting his words which basically declared he didn’t ever, ever, ever want to get married again (Coincidence or not).
Of course for me this was not how I wanted my future to unfold. We only have one life to live and even after all my screw ups, I certainly wanted my life to count – with him in it!
I fell madly in love with him and knew (almost from the very beginning) that we had been called to be together, that we would make a beautiful, exciting and extraordinary future together. And so I stuck it out a little longer, while he figured it out. After all, these decisions should never be rushed (Decidingly Decisive).
And before you know it, he woke up one day and asked himself:
Would I be happy to see her with another man?
And without any hesitation his answer was a simple resounding…
And that did it! One simple question elicited an answer that led to the proposal of marriage – without marriage actually being the answer.
The more I think about it, it would seem as if we often ask questions that focus on our own humanly perceived solutions. In my hubby’s case, his previous marriage certainly didn’t leave him believing it could be any good, it didn’t give him any hope of anything better, let alone beautiful and extraordinary in his future. Marriage was not the answer. Until the question he woke up to changed and that immediately put things into perspective. It was only at that point in his life that it became clear as to what his next steps entailed – without any pressure, coercion or suffocation, especially from me. Marriage became the natural progression of our relationship that brought us into the realm of the extraordinary.
So what’s the point?
Well, maybe we are too focused on what we think the solution should be before we ask the question. Maybe it’s not about the solution or how many questions are being asked, or about the eloquence of such a question, or how politically correct it should be. But more so, maybe the answer lies in how the question is asked. In other words, ask the right question.
It seems so simple: The right answer will come when you ask the right question.