Life Lesson 3

If you wish, you can read previous posts on my life lessons:

Not everything is black and white

Being a hero comes at a cost

This week I know I’m going to make those eyes roll back in your head and churn some thought processes. I have to challenge some mind sets and this specific one is certainly controversial but when you really think about it, also rather practical.

#3: Everything does not happen for a reason

Don’t jump to conclusions just yet. Let me explain.

I believe everything happens because of the decisions we make. It’s these decisions and actions that lead to consequences, good or bad, within your control or not. And ultimately these decisions determine where you are and what you do at a specific place and time. If I could, I would rewrite the statement like this:

‘Everything happens because of our decisions’.

I know this may not be your conviction but it is mine. And it’s a good thing for me. It’s not to say we are always responsible for inviting the bad things that happen to us. It simply means we have freedom of choice and who could ever know what lies around the corner in the future. It really is a gamble at times.

Whose to say that you made the perfect decision to stick to the speed limit, only to get hit by another speeding and reckless vehicle. Or gained a bunch of kilograms simply from eating chocolate every day for a month.

You see, when we realise just how much is within our control and what is not, this point becomes much more clear. For example, checking the traffic and weather before deciding when to leave for that crucial meeting and arriving on time. Yes, that can all change enroute (out of your control), but if not anticipated (within your control) and you arrive late that’s your own fault. We have so many resources on hand nowadays, there is actually no excuse. We need to accept the consequences of our decisions (or lack thereof) and not simply settle with ‘everything happens for a reason‘. That can only be a byproduct of everything happening because of the decisions we make.

I met my hubby on a dating site and my checklist as a woman, never incorporated considering a man who was previously divorced and had kids. But I made a decision to click on him and he made a decision to click on me too (read more here Coincidence or Not).

What’s the chances we would fall madly in love, get married and live happily ever after? We met because of our decisions to take a chance. This was all within our control and everything after happened as a result of those decisions.

If you really think about it, everything we face is the result of a decision made at some point in our lives. And yes, because of these decisions, everything happens for a reason we already chose – be it consciously or unconsciously!

#Just some food for thought