I used to live and make decisions based on what I was told. Those that had any form of influence in my life, I held in high respect. I never questioned or challenged what I was told. I believed acceptance was the right thing to do. But as I grew wiser, better looking and more experienced in life and all it’s amazing fullness, I have to say that I have learnt some real hard lessons, like most of us do. Lessons that certainly do not necessarily agree with past influences and lessons that have certainly played a role in moulding me into the me I am today.
Over my next few posts, I will touch on my top life lessons. I know that they may in fact be controversial to say the least, nevertheless these are my lessons. Use them or don’t use them. Just keep in mind that we cannot live on someone else’s conviction. We need to grab hold of our own personal convictions and only then can we live with meaning. I do hope these lessons will challenge current perspectives.
#1: Not everything is black and white
That’s right. It’s not just about black or white, light or dark, yin or yang, right or wrong. That neutral tone colour that exists between black and white indeed is there, grey does exist. This doesn’t mean there is no absolutes, but what most of us do not realise is that sometimes seemingly opposite forces can actually interrelate with each other resulting in unassuming prevalence and necessity in facilitating decisions and actions that may not be the norm. Yes, they are grey areas!
For a Type A, perfectionist like myself, that did not sit well with me at all. After all good people deserve good things right?! But often bad things happen. What we don’t see is that just maybe those bad things could be the doorway to those often missed life giving turn of events. We never know.
When this realization hit home for me, it felt like I had invited a form of chaos to rule in my mind. Something I had to tolerate and give a chance. It wasn’t easy. But chaos is not necessarily right or wrong and there is something called ordered chaos. The truth is that sometimes in certain situations, we may not fully know or fully understand or have the ability to comprehend matters, and that is actually ok. Yes, it is ok! That is a grey area. We do the best with what we have at that given time, even when it doesn’t make sense!
Don’t get me wrong. I’m in no way condoning this grey area to be an excuse for inexcusable decisions and actions. Wisdom is required. So when something maybe does not fit into your black or white box, leave it out in the grey area. The more one tries to force it into a black or white category, we stunt our creativity and personal growth. Maybe just give it a try!