Have you ever been in a situation that literally gutted you, thinking you were there at the right time and right place with just the right amount of preparation, only to find out there were other works at play? How does one put into words the deep emotions that flood the heart and soul, clouding up the rational brain?
Despite the circumstances, it is immensely heavy on the soul. A desperate, miserable place. How does one reach in to gain control of something that feels so wild and so free leaving it totally untameable?
It starts to feel like your world is crashing in, it starts to feel as though the darkness has won, but somehow I have to believe the sun will shine through. I have to believe I am not alone. And I have to believe and remind myself that just maybe, the time for me will come, it’s just not my time right now for this. Whatever this may be right now, for you or for me. It’s just not my time!
I am not sure who said this, but I have honestly found it to be profoundly true:
Things don’t get easier. You just get to know yourself better.
I guess accepting that, can simply challenge one’s perspective and if allowed, to possibly be gripped by a new dimension of possibilities and consequences.
I am an avid lover of the Grey’s Anatomy series. I own every series in the original hard copy format and I watch it over and over again from start to finish (of course over time)! To this day though, I still have one favourite soul-searching part in series 10, where Richard Webber (former Chief of Surgery of the Grey – Sloan Memorial Hospital in Seattle), is electrocuted. While he is lying there unable to move or call out for help, you sense him fighting for survival in his mind and then you hear him say this:
We all gonna die. We don’t get much to say over how or when, but we do get to decide how we gonna live. So do it…decide!
Is this life the one you want to live?
Is this the person you want to love?
Is this the best you can be?
Can you be stronger, kinder, more compassionate?
Breathe in and breathe out, and decide!
So it’s in these moments where we just need to take a breather and decide the next step. No rush. No pressure. Just breathe in and breathe out. Take a moment to find the calm rational brain, even if it’s just to knock on its door. It’s a start. Yes I know, much easier said than done and I’m all about practice practice practice. Practice makes perfect! But this one is hard! It makes me want to shout out the serenity prayer…
Trust me this prayer is all good and well, but I have to be brutally honest right now. That prayer has it’s place and it’s time, no disrepect! But for me right now I much prefer this version…
It does make me feel a little more able to cope 😉