The anticipation. The butterflies. The excitement. The element of surprise. I wonder where we going. We get dressed. We head out. He opens my door and kisses me gently. The drive to the venue reveals the long awaited destination. We are greeted with a smile and led to our romantic table. He pulls out my chair. I sit, he sits. And so we wine and dine into the night…
Ok it doesn’t always happen exactly like that, but mostly it does! My husband and I have committed ourselves to date night ever since we first met. The same date every month. Taking turns to find a restaurant and create that date night ambiance so to speak.
The one lesson I have learnt in my marriage is to make time for my husband and I. As corny and simple as it sounds it really is important and often overlooked. We assume that the time we have running around doing life together is sufficient, but really it’s not. This is a critical building block of what’s to come. It’s time with each other without any phones, technology, or distractions (trust me there are many distractions out there, even the simple busyness of the restaurant).
Date night can be what you make it. I do however, strongly suggest a meal is the way to go. While many like to enjoy a good movie, or a game of ten-pin bowling, those are for times when you want to have fun together. There’s plenty time for that and often better accomplished and enjoyed when coupled with spontaneity. We all know that food is comforting and sharing a meal connects us. It allows us to communicate on a different level just as we have been so intricately designed and created to do. We cannot ignore this. It’s almost sacred.
My husband and I also like to choose what we think would be the best taste sensation off the menu. It’s a game we have and of course it must have a little competition (I will let you guess who is in the lead!). It compliments the evening and allows us to literally share each dish together. It’s amazing what food can do!
We leave to go home, tipped the waiter, walked hand in hand back to the car. He opens my door and kisses me gently. The ride home is slightly quieter as the evening draws to an end…
Your evening could end anyway you like. Sometimes you dont really have a choice and find the fabulous food actually turned out to be a little spoilt and now your best friend becomes the toilet bowl! Yes it happens!
Why is date night the latest fad in marriages? Im guessing because it’s time we never get in today’s world of high pace urgency and stress. Its connect time. It’s a safe space. You can talk, eat, listen, enjoy a good glass of wine and just be together even when there is no conversation. It does take some preparation and work but in the end it’s about making your partner see and feel that he/she is worth the effort and the time.
There are no rules but this is what I propose:
- Select a restaurant and book in advance
- Take turns to book the restaurant
- Let the restaurant know you are celebrating an important anniversary
- Request some candles and a table in a quiet spot away from the hustle and bustle
- Make it as romantic and magical as you can
- Make your partner feel like he/she is worth the effort
- Be on time
- Show affection even if it’s secretly shared (#wink wink)
- Talk about the things that matter
- Avoid work talk as this is not the time or place
- Take a few moments to just be silent and enjoy the ambience
I know you’re probably thinking how on earth you are going to get this right. With budgets and time constraints, maybe even feeling stuck with your partner, maybe even have nothing left in common anymore. If you must just make the sacrifice. Make a change. Decide to do this despite the circumstances. Focus on the other and see where it leads.
For you single ladies and chaps, I would like to leave just one thought for you – be complete before you dive into getting married. Your partner should never have to complete you!